As I love riding them, I wish this post was about roller coasters. (Note to self- it's been too long- must make plans to visit an amusement park soon!) I'm actually referring to the roller coaster of emotion this runner's mind has been riding this last week. Unfortunately, it was not as fun as the physical amusement park ride.
WAITING IN LINE
Feeling good after the trail 50K the week prior, I planned to have an easy week before starting my next cycle of marathon training. The PF Chang RNR Arizona Marathon in January has my name on its entrant list. I consulted a coach who agreed that this was my best chance at getting a marathon PR, compared to other races I have lined up in 2012. Color me excited!
GOING UP
During the week I relaxed, slept in every day, and sprinkled a few casual runs throughout. Work wasn't particularly stressful. Kids were excited about Halloween coming up. We got our Halloween decorations up. I started lighting our autumn inspired candles throughout the house in the evening. It was a string of "Life is Good" moments.
DOWN
One day's 7 mile run somehow turned into a difficult and yes, I admit it, tearful 4 or 5 miler. I don't recall the distance for sure, but I do remember that running did not feel easy that day. That made me feel frustrated. FRUSTRATED. Improvement had always been a motivator for me. Instead of moving forward, I felt I was retrograding.
ret-ro-grade (adj): moving or trending backward; reverting to an earlier or inferior condition
In the back of my mind, I know I've worked through this feeling before, but it didn't matter. I was going to start training for another marathon? Am I crazy? At that point, I didn't feel like starting another long training cycle. In fact, I didn't feel like running at all anymore. Besides, I'm not a professional athlete. I run because I choose to. This is supposed to be fun. And it's not fun right now. I went home, vented to my ever-so-patient husband, and took a shower.
THE END OF THE RIDE IS IN SIGHT
While the jets of water washed away the sweat and angst, a moment of clarity came to me. I decided to just not think about it. My shoulders somehow feel a bit lighter.
SAFETY BARS LIFT UP
The following Tuesday morning rolled around. I found myself awake at 4:45 a.m. without the alarm. My body was ready. That's when I knew I was going to go start the training cycle that day.
6 comments:
I love roller coasters and I love your analogy!
Although coasters have gotten pretty high tech and serious lately. We were at Busch Gardens last summer and they were all fairly terrifying.
I can totally relate to your thought process during a bad run. I've been having more than my share of them lately and am determined to find a pace where I can just enjoy running again.
I can't tell you how much reading this made me feel better about my own roller coaster running journey lately.
Chang's is going to ROCK .. watch out for us!
Don't you *heart* those crappy runs???? At least the safety bars were down and you couldn't jump!
Oh come on now - a crappy run so soon after a 50K? Put it behind you, get back in line and enjoy the ride!
This is such a good analogy and I think we have all been through this 'cycle' in one way or another. Letting go and not thinking about it seems to be the best way to allow things to just happen as they are meant to. Glad you feel better about everything!
Isn't it funny how we have to go through cycles to get to the point where we are ready for whatever it is we have our heart set on? I'm glad you got through it though. I think we need those up and down moments to remember why we enjoy running (or rock climbing, name your activity) and to re-motivate. Yay! Rio is running/training again!
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